Commentary on Al-Baqarah 2:234–235 — The Widow's Waiting Period and Proposals

سورۃ البقرۃ ۲۳۴–۲۳۵

وَالَّذِينَ يُتَوَفَّوْنَ مِنكُمْ وَيَذَرُونَ أَزْوَاجًا يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَعَشْرًا ۖ فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا فَعَلْنَ فِي أَنفُسِهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ

(Al-Baqarah 2:234) "And those who are taken in death among you and leave behind wives — they (the wives) shall wait four months and ten days. And when they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame upon you for what they do with themselves in an acceptable manner. And Allah is Acquainted with what you do."

Wallazina yutawaffawna minkum: those among you who die. Wa-yadaruna azwajan: and leave behind wives. Yatarabbasna bi-anfusihinna: they shall keep themselves in waiting. Arba'ata ashhur wa-'ashran: four months and ten days — this is the 'iddah of a widow. Arba'ata ashhur wa-'ashran: four months and ten. When a husband dies, the wife must observe this 'iddah. Fa-iza balaghna ajalahunna: when they reach the completion of this 'iddah. Fala junaha 'alaykum: there is no blame on you. Fi ma fa'alna fi anfusihinna: for what they do in their own matters — that is, in preparing for a new nikah and adorning themselves. Bil-ma'ruf: in an acceptable and customary manner — such as preparation for a new marriage, adornment, and so on. Wa-Allahu bi-ma ta'malun khabir: and Allah is All-Aware of what you do.

Translation: And those of you who die and leave wives behind — those wives shall observe a waiting period of four months and ten days. When they reach the end of this period, there is no blame on you for what they do with themselves in a recognized manner. Allah is Well-Aware of what you do.

It is a great cruelty that a woman is forced to remain confined during such an extended period by social pressure. This period has been causing great hardship for Muslims for many years. According to accepted convention (of the people), a woman remains in this state the whole year. But this is wrong. The Islamic ruling is four months and ten days. After that, her 'iddah is complete and she may remarry.

After the divorce is given to women, there are three states: (1) The man intends reunion with her, so he is told: 'retain with ma'ruf (good terms).' (2) He intends no reunion, until the whole 'iddah is complete — so he is told: 'release her with au tasrīḥ bi-iḥsān (goodness/kindness).' (3) The third case: if the husband gives the final (irrevocable) divorce, he is told: 'fa-in tallaqaha, fala tahillu lahu min ba'd — then a further clause (new marriage) is mentioned.'

وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ عَلِمَ اللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَٰكِن لَّا تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلَّا أَن تَقُولُوا قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا ۚ وَلَا تَعْزِمُوا عُقْدَةَ النِّكَاحِ حَتَّىٰ يَبْلُغَ الْكِتَابُ أَجَلَهُ ۚ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُ ۚ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ

(Al-Baqarah 2:235) "There is no blame upon you for what you allude to concerning a proposal to women or what you conceal within yourselves. Allah knows that you will mention them, but do not promise them secretly except for saying a proper saying. And do not resolve upon the knot of marriage until the decreed period reaches its end. And know that Allah knows what is within yourselves, so beware of Him. And know that Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing."

Wa-la junaha 'alaykum: there is no sin on you. Fima 'arradtum bihi: regarding what you hinted — Ta'rid means: to hint at something. Khitbah al-nisa': proposing to women. Au aknanntum fi anfusikum: or what you have hidden in your hearts. 'Alima Allahu: Allah knows. Annakum sa-tazkurunahunna: that you will mention them — you will think about them. Wa-lakin la tawa'iduhunna sirran: but do not make secret promises to them. Siran: secretly, hidden way. Illa an taqulu qawlan ma'ruf: except to say a recognized proper word — that is, in a decent and respectful manner.

Wa-la ta'zimu 'uqdata al-nikah: and do not firm up the knot of nikah. Hatta yablugha al-kitabu ajalahu: until the written decree (the 'iddah period) reaches its end — meaning until the prescribed waiting period is complete. Ajalahu: its appointed end — their own 'iddah. Wa-'alamu anna Allaha ya'lamu ma fi anfusikum: know that Allah knows what is in your hearts. Fahzaruhu: so beware of Him. Wa-'alamu anna Allaha Ghafurun Halim: and know that Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing.

Translation: There is no sin on you regarding what you hint at in proposing to women, or what you conceal in your hearts. Allah knows that you will think of them. However, do not make any secret promises to them, except to say a word in the proper recognized manner. Do not resolve upon completing the nikah until the prescribed period reaches its end. Know that Allah knows what is in your hearts — so beware. Know that Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing.

The real point here is that it was socially humiliating for a woman in mourning to receive a marriage proposal during her 'iddah — it goes against humanity and decency. However, the situation is that women in their 'iddah are deeply in need of someone to care for them. So this allusion is permitted. The difference between tawriyah (indirect expression) and tasrih (explicit statement) is that in the former, the person's actual intention is concealed while conveying something else. In any case, the most that is permissible is an indirect reference.